I Caught Myself
by Annjul414
Summary: QW14/Day 2 – Comfort/Fluff It started with some confessions. When Quinn suggests a certain scheme to help Santana with coming to terms with her identity, things go slightly different than they originally planned. Set between S2/S3.


**A/N: **Submission for Quinntana Week 2014. I've always wondered what it would look like if these two dated during high school, this is my lousy attempt. I couldn't let my favorite theme pass. There _will be_ sequel in the future, cause I lacked time to finish this one properly. Warning: lots of cuteness and slight Brittany bashing. It turned out that I suck at objective POV, so please don't be angry with limited descriptions and lots of dialogues.

Disclaimer: Glee's not mine.

* * *

That was not the summer Santana had in mind. She was stuck with her parents, alone and bored to death in her room during the sunny weekend. Everyone went somewhere for the holidays and it seemed that she was the only one left without any plans. Lying on her bed, she scrolled through her phone contacts, wondering whom to text. Quinn's name drew her attention and she hesitated for a second. To some unexplained reason, after such a rough year between them, they didn't part in hate. New York somehow diminished the tension as they remembered that they were best friends once. Since then, both of them tried not to get on each other's nerves, which was so far going well.

Santana's finger hovered above her contact, but before she decided to touch it, the phone vibrated signaling a new message. Speaking of the devil.

_Q:_ Hey, what are you doing?

_S:_ Dying of boredom. R u in Lima

_Q:_ Yes. Wanna hang out?

_S:_ You read my mind, C u in 5

Having grabbed some shorts, simple top, and a pair of sunglasses, she got ready within seconds to meet her at their usual spot nearby local kindergarten. They decided to go to the ice cream parlor and sat outside to savor the sun with a cup of their favorite flavors.

"I've never suspected that I'd be so happy to see you." Quinn rolled her eyes at her, brushing aside the strands of hair which she had chosen to keep short.

"Who knew that so many people would leave. For the first time, I have no idea what to do with myself."

"Tell me about it. I thought that I was going to die if I stayed another minute at home. From what I've heard, everyone has a great time except us." Santana snorted, playing with the spoon between her fingers.

"Why didn't you go anywhere?" She shrugged in response.

"Why didn't you? I didn't expect to be that bored."

"I wanted to stay to have some moments of peace, but now I kind of regret it." She sighed, observing people on the streets.

"Same."

"Where's Brittany?"

"She's visiting her family somewhere in Europe. I don't even know when she returns, to be honest." Quinn narrowed her eyes with curiosity seeing her disinterested expression.

"I see. So, no plans whatsoever?"

"Not this time."

"How about we make our own vacation?" The blonde suggested and Santana leant towards her.

"I'm listening."

"Just like the old times. Field trips, drive-in cinema, sleepovers, sunbathing by the pool, window shopping, pointless driving around the town and singing along to the radio…" The corners of her mouth lifted and Santana smiled back.

"This actually sounds great."

They started exchanging ideas and before they realized, the afternoon passed in a blur.

After a few days of casual hanging out, they settled into a routine. They were cycling in the park, picking movies for night marathons, eating dinners at different places, took walks around the woods, and learning to bake new desserts, which usually ended up with kitchen in complete mess. During the hottest days, both of them took advantage of Quinn's garden with a swimming pool.

Santana's preferred activity was tanning as she motionlessly lay on the sunbed, not bothered by anything in the slightest. The blonde left the pool to place her wet hands on her warmed up thighs and Santana let out a high pitched scream, taken by surprise.

"Cold! What the heck?!" She took off her straw hat to glare at Quinn who was laughing at her.

"You will get sunburn if you don't move a bit. Why are you doing this anyway? Your skin is naturally tanned."

"For the health and beauty reasons. Maybe you abandoned taking care of yourself, no wonder considering your stretch marks, but I wanna look _h-o-t_. You probably forgot what it means, Juno." She stated, wiping off the water droplets, and Quinn huffed.

"You could seriously drop those names, it has been some time."

"Nope. It's funnier this way."

"You know very well that my marks are hardly visible. I saw you looking." The blonde rested hands on her hips, her blue bikini suit on full display.

"Please, don't flatter yourself. I was checking whether they are huge or just big. It turned out, they're pretty fat." She sent her a devious smirk.

Quinn smiled back only to grab her arm and suddenly toss her in the pool direction. Santana managed to shriek before she fell into the water with a splash. The blonde bent down in laughter, seeing as she emerged to the surface with hair all over her face, trembling.

"You're gonna pay for that Fabray." She grunted in a low voice and pounced on her in a rapid movement.

Quinn realized too late that she was standing dangerously close to the edge and she wasn't able to dodge Santana's arms that pulled her right into the pool.

"You bitch." She tried to get out, but the brunette kept a firm grip on her body.

"Huh uh, I'm not done yet. Your pretty little head looks too dry."

They fooled around, splashing each other until the sun lowered on the sky indicating late afternoon. Having grabbed additional towels, they sat on the terrace to dry up. Quinn was wearing a proud expression as she watched Santana who was angrily trying to fix her hair into something presentable.

"Don't be so smug about the whole thing, Q. Since I left cheerios, I'm slightly out of shape."

"I was always stronger than you."

"You wish." Santana elbowed her arm and they exchanged grins. "I seriously can't wait to sign up again. Trainings were exhaustive but at least effective."

"Why do you want to return? Sue treated us terribly although we won everything."

"Yeah, but it wasn't that bad. You loved that too."

"I don't want to go through it all again. This year I'm going to focus on myself, instead of trying to please everyone else." Quinn admitted, putting on her summer dress.

"Come on, don't you wanna win that last championship? If we were made co-captains, no team would stand a chance." Santana faced her with encouraging look, but she shook her head.

"This sounds fantastic, but I had enough of pressure and rat race for popularity. I realized that I need a change, I need to start being myself. I'm done with standing up to expectations of others." She suddenly smiled. "You will do fine without me."

"Yes, but where's the fun in that? Our fights for captaincy kept me on my toes."

They laughed and went inside to prepare dinner.

* * *

It was early August when Santana, being home alone, invited Quinn for a night to get drunk. They settled in the attic where she opened the huge roof windows to see the sky better. After a few drinks and chats with soft music in the background, they fell into a sleepy mood, lying silently on the mattress to stare at the stars above them. It got rather chilly and Santana pulled a blanket over them. Quinn turned her head to look at her and heavily sighed.

"San? What has happened to us?" She quietly asked. There was a moment of silence as the brunette considered her question.

"I don't know. Well, I do kinda know… we're both bitches."

"We didn't use to be, not to each other. It wasn't always like that."

"We wanted to be on top and there could only be one throne. You know the rest."

"Still… there was a lot of bad blood between us, it went way further than it should have."

"Yeah. I know." She paused and looked away. "I'm sorry… about the Beth thing. You know, I said those things because I was so furious. Maybe not exactly with you, but with what happened. Because really. Getting knocked up, especially by Puck? It's reserved for girls like me, not you. And I was so disappointed and angry with everything so Snix took over."

Quinn listened to her and her expression was changing with every sentence. She held back the tears and Santana sent her an apologizing look.

"I can understand that, yet… I needed support back then and you, person that I considered my best friend, left me just like everyone else. I had no one Santana, completely no one."

"I know. It must have been so hard for you, but I ignored it. I just couldn't fully accept that it happened. Then things only went even worse."  
They fell silent, listening to the acoustic song which soft sounds were calming. The brunette snuggled closer to the other girl in almost comforting gesture and Quinn looked at her once more. Pain in her eyes was replaced with sympathy and regret.

"I didn't tell the coach about your surgery."

"What do you mean?"

"I didn't tell anyone. People noticed and you know how things spread. Jacob probably wrote about it on his blog, she must have learnt about it one way or another, but not from me."

"Why didn't you explain yourself?"

"I don't know. You attacked me and I fought back because this… this is what we are, this is what we do. We fight, we yell, we push and accuse each other without thinking or justifying. When we should sit down and talk things through, instead of letting our emotions get the better of us."

"Yep, that's us." Santana admitted and they chuckled to themselves. Quinn sighed, staring at some point on the sky.

"I was angry back then that you assumed immediately that I had told Sylvester about it. I didn't judge your decision, how could I? Given my history… I later wondered why you didn't use Lucy against me. If you thought that I was the one who told the coach, you could have easily got your revenge. You knew my past before anyone else after all."

"That was tempting, but it would be a little bit too much, even for a bitch like me. No, I decided that making you look like a cheater and stealing your boyfriend would be a better plan. Sorry about that too, by the way. Sam was actually a nice guy despite his dumb sense of humor."

"Don't worry about it. As much as he was good to me, I don't think we would work out in the end. We lacked something."

Another several quiet moments passed as they lay lost in thoughts. It was quite late and the effects of alcohol made them dazed. Santana yawned audibly and Quinn pinched her arm with a lazy grin.

"I missed you. I missed my best friend, my equal." The Latina confessed after a while.

"I missed you too. Since Beth I felt so alone, so I replaced one guy with another just to have any company."

"You deserve better than some small town boys, you know that." They glanced at each other, their eyes seeking truth and comfort.

"So do you." Quinn declared as Santana found her hand under the blanket. "I missed that as well. Us, just talking, hanging out. All we did last year was arguing, which I strangely didn't enjoy at all."

"I know what you mean. When we fell apart, I felt like I was missing something. I got almost everything that I've ever wanted, I finally owned the school. At first it felt good, but later it wasn't as fun as I thought it would be. Without you… it just wasn't the same." The blonde squeezed her hand.

"We can't change the past, what happened between us is done. But we have influence on the future."

Santana didn't answer her, she turned her head to look again at the stars. Quinn suddenly smiled.

"Remember how we used to go to the meadow every time we had a rough day? When we were tired after the training, fed up with boy drama, upset with parents?"

"Yeah. We always sat down under those trees with little white blossoms. I didn't know what their name was, so I just called them the white trees." The happy memory filled their hearts with nostalgia.

"I haven't been there for ages."

"Me too. Perhaps we could go this week, unless you have some other plans?" Santana suggested, seeing her wistful expression.

"No. I'd love to."

* * *

It took them a couple of days spent indoors because of rainy weather to finally find the way back to their little plain on the outskirts of the school. The old log which they used to sit on was in the exact spot as always, and besides a new bonfire spot, little had changed. They rested under the tree, smiling at the white flowers above their heads. The summer heat was noticeable, but breeze cooled their skin.

"It's like we were here just yesterday."

"Passage of time works differently for nature."

"Don't get all philosophical on me, Fabray." She smirked, earning a glare from Quinn.

Sipping ice smoothies, they caught up on everything that happened during their radio silence. Instead of bringing up embarrassing situations and arguments, they focused on random glee events. Within fifteen minutes they laughed more than they did during several previous months.

"What was that Karovsky thing? That whole project to protect gay students? Don't get me wrong, it was noble and all but so not you. This came completely out of nowhere." The blonde joked, taking off her sunglasses as the shadow reached their position.

"What do you mean not me? I love protecting the weak." She stated and Quinn sent her a meaningful look. "What?"

"I can understand dating Sam or Puckerman, but him? What was exactly going on with you? Your behavior was really weird." Santana sighed and looked down at grass.

"I was dealing with some personal stuff."

"Such as?"

"I can't tell you."

"You can't or you won't?" The brunette silently began toying with the hem of her shorts and Quinn scooted closer to her. "Listen, I want to put all bad things behind us. I want us to be friends again, the way it was, the way it should be."

"You had your past as a secret, I have mine."

"I told you about Lucy and everything, despite my insecurity. I trusted you with that, why can't you trust me with your worries?"

"It's not that simple. I… I haven't told anyone yet." She admitted in a low voice, her dark eyes still focused on anything but her.

"Then you can tell me and we will deal with this together."

"This is not something you can deal with, Quinn."

"It must be bothering you since you can't speak about it, thus, we can solve it somehow. I'm here for you. I want to be." She brushed her arm against hers and Santana met her gentle gaze.

"I think… I-I'm gay." She whispered after a while. The blonde's lips curled very slowly into a smile.

"I kind of knew. I mean… I suspected, that's all. Don't be that surprised, I know you, S. Or at least I like to think that I know you."

"And you are okay with this?"

"Why wouldn't I? It doesn't change anything, you are still you."

"Thanks."

"You haven't told your parents yet, I take it?"

"No. You are pretty much the first to hear it from me, apart from Dave."

"Thank you for trusting me. I want you to know that I'm perfectly fine with that." She patted her shoulder and frowned at a sudden thought. "Is that why you were acting so strange?"

"By strange, you mean trying to be as much straight as possible? Yeah." Santana laughed, before telling her in a nutshell about the idea of beards with Karovsky.

"You know, what I've learnt about keeping secrets is that sooner or later they will be made public and the effects are terrible when you are not prepared to let everyone know."

"Well, that's why I'm not going to let that happen."

"It's better to break the news quietly in your own way to let it all sink in." Quinn softly expressed and the other girl immediately scowled.

"What the hell, break the news? There is no way I'm coming out. Imagine the consequences."

"So you want to pretend the whole time, date guys, be unhappy for the entire senior year?"

"Who said anything about being unhappy? I will keep my mouth shut and that's all." She declared, digging her sneakers into the ground. "I can't come out, I can't do that."

"Kurt and Blaine are open about their relationship." Quinn hinted and Santana rolled her eyes.

"People always knew about Kurt, let's face it. My situation is different. You might be accepting, but do you have any idea how people will react? Comments, stares, gossips… I won't face that. I just can't. Why do you think Kurt was bullied, besides his choice of wardrobe?"

"Guys survived it all, so can you. Especially taking into consideration that you are the top dog, unlike Kurt. No one sane will try to say a word. Why are you afraid of being yourself?"

"I will be the only girl in the entire school. Kurt has Blaine, I'm all alone. And everyone will take advantage of that. I won't give them any satisfaction or reason for tearing me down."

"You are not alone, Santana. You have friends, I bet that the entire glee club will support you as I do." She scoffed at her words, crossing her arms.

"Friends? Please, do you truly believe that? We both know that they don't care about me, they will be happy to see me getting what I deserve."

"You don't know that."

Santana shifted, the log got uncomfortable after sitting so long. Her brown eyes were stubbornly staring into space in front of her, her face hardened and distant. Quinn averted her thoughtful gaze to look at the clear sky. The chirpy birds were singing among the trees and the air smelled of forest. She sighed and faced Santana again, taking her hand in hers.

"There's more to it that pure fear of being out, isn't it? I don't think that you entirely accept yourself, cause if you truly did, you wouldn't be so scared of letting people know."

"I do accept it, okay? Brittany helped me realize it, but just like you she wanted me to be open about it. It didn't work with her and it won't work with you either. No offense." She added quickly, Quinn's expression remained calm.

"Brittany, huh? Are you two together?"

"No. That's a long, messed up story and I don't wanna talk about it now."

"Alright. You're basically saying that you're afraid of what people would think, aren't you? I can't understand why. You always spoke your mind, did your thing regardless of results, and I don't know any person bolder than you." Santana's eyes lost their rigidity at her words. "I know that you don't want to go through what Kurt went, but you're not him, and that's why it would be different. You could actually change something, you have influence on people. I won't deny that the first days would be tough, but things always die down. After a week or two it would be over, and you won't have to be uncomfortable with yourself anymore."

"I don't need to come out. This is the last year and after that I'm outta here."

"Precisely! That's another reason why you should do it now, for the sake of the future. You would get this done and even if things went wrong here, you would leave it all behind."

"Why are you so concerned about it? I'm fine staying in the closet, thank you very much." She answered with a sneer, trying to pull her hand away with no effect.

"I don't think you are. I want you to feel good about yourself, S. When my secrets were spilled all over the school, it was really hard. Now I'm relieved that I have nothing else to hide. I'm free."

"I'm not that strong as it looks like, Quinn. I'm not ready for that."

"And you will never be. Yet if you break it gently to everyone, gradually, the outcome will be less terrifying than you think. I'll be right beside you the whole time, I promise." Santana snorted again, not convinced by her assurance and honest eyes.

"Easy to stand aside and watch when you're not the center of attention."

Quinn bit her lip, looking away in defeat. The delicate wind blew off a few white petals on their heads. She smoothed her hair and realized that she was still holding Santana's hand. With interest, she examined her tanned skin which next to her white one made her look even paler. The brunette's fingers were long and slender and she caressed them briefly, enjoying the softness. Santana was absentminded for she didn't move a muscle. Quinn looked up, her eyes brightened with abrupt realization.

"I can pretend to be your girlfriend." The Latina turned her head to stare at her with expression somewhat between amusement, shock, and disbelief.

"I'm pretty sure that you have no idea what you've just said."

"No, listen me out! We could begin right now before school starts to make you comfortable among public, less conscious about the whole thing. It could work – you would test the waters and I'd be there for you."

"This is crazy. Why would you even do that? Why would you put yourself in a position to be shamed for being someone you're not?"

"I don't care what people would think or say about me anymore. I've been through so much stuff that I have nothing to lose by helping you. My reputation is long gone. And I said before, I want to spend this last year doing something right, not chasing after popularity."

"This is not something that can be fixed, it won't go away just like that. There will be consequences." Santana focused all of her attention on Quinn who was unaffected by her firm glare.

"Whatever may come, we will face it together. Remember good old times? Separately we're strong, but together we're unstoppable. Nobody will dare to even look at us in a funny way. And people outside school don't know us, so there is nothing to worry about anyway."

"What about our families? They would hear about that."

"It would be the best if you told your parents." She suggested, and Santana withdrew into herself.

"Maybe after several weeks."

"Take your time. If they learnt by accident, you could always tell the truth. That we're not dating and this is just a big misunderstanding."

"I can handle my parents. What about you though?"

"Same for me, simple explanation. My mother owes me a lot, she won't be making any problems."

"This is crazy." The brunette repeated with a shake of her head and Quinn steadied her fidgeting hand.

"No, it's not. Please, at least think about it."

"Fine. I will." She replied in a whiny voice, allowing the other girl to put her arm around her, regardless of heat.

"I'm here for you and I want to help."

Santana kept silent, directing her attention to surroundings. They continued resting until the impatient calls reminded them of family time. Quinn returned home, giving her some time and space to think, while she took the evening off to jog around the town with her favorite music. While running through random places she ignored irritating stares of men and sat down to catch her breath. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a couple holding hands. The sight made her knit brows in contemplation.

The next day she showed up at Quinn's doorstep, nervously tapping her foot on the porch's floor. When the very surprised blonde opened the door, she looked behind her to check whether they were alone.

"Is your mom in?"

"No. What's wrong?" Santana stepped inside, her face serious, but her eyes insecure.

"I agree." It took Quinn a second to understand what she meant.

"Okay. How do you want to play it?"

"Casually. I have some conditions, though." The blonde raised an eyebrow. "No paying for each other and no kissing."

"Trust me, I wasn't going to do either. Anything else?"

"Dropping the act in front of people we know." She declared without hesitation, and the other girl frowned.

"Well, isn't it contrary to what we want to achieve?"

"At least until school. I'm not ready for that right now." Quinn searched her eyes for a moment and nodded.

"I won't press you. Everything is going to be okay, you know that, right?"

"Whatever. So, wanna go to the cinema tonight?"

* * *

Since the place was nearby their district and the evening was warm, they decided to walk. Santana was waiting in front of Quinn's house wearing jeans and loose white top, not slightly taken aback by the blonde's beige sundress. She nodded to get moving and the other girl cleared her throat.

"What?"

"Didn't you forget about something?" Santana looked around, puzzled.

"Like what?"

"My hand." She frowned and Quinn sighed to herself. "My hand, Santana. Take my hand."

"What for?"

"Ugh, seriously? It's what couples do. They hold hands when walking. Did I really have to spit it out for you?"

"We aren't together." Santana replied decisively, watching her eye-roll.

"Yes, I'm well aware of that. You seem to forget what and why we're doing this in the first place."

Quinn extended her hand in almost dominant gesture and the brunette took it with defeat painted all over her face. Whenever people passed them Santana wanted to pull away, and Quinn instinctively brought them closer. They didn't speak the entire way to the cinema and let go of each other only when buying tickets. Santana sighed with relief, which made the blonde glare with reproach.

They chose a comedy, because Santana immediately refused to see any romance. It was fairly enjoyable and both of them visibly relaxed, concentrating on the movie rather than on people around them. When the closing credits appeared, Quinn suggested buying some drinks and walking through the old birch park. The brunette wordlessly agreed and within ten minutes they were strolling down the beautiful lane illuminated dimly by the yellow light of the lanterns. It was silent and peaceful, and seeing that there were no crowds, Santana looped arm with her friend, savoring the blueberry milkshake.

"Oh my God, it's so damn good. Taste of my childhood."

"I knew where to go." Quinn smirked, taking a few sips from her own cup.

"You have your moments of intelligence."

"Why, thank you very much."

"You're welcome."

"Bitch."

"Takes one to know one."

"Shut up." They laughed, and the old couple that was walking from the opposite direction smiled at them warmly. "It's not that bad, isn't it?"

"Because none of the people we met know us. Imagine if we showed up like that at school."

"It doesn't matter if they know us or not. It's all about the potential outcome and reactions."

"Okay, so tonight was pretty good, but flowers and rainbows won't last forever. And when bad things happen, you'll take back your offer."

"If."

"When. Because they're going to happen, sooner or later."

"Even so, I'm not going to take back anything." She stopped walking and turned towards her. "I told you, we're in this together, so you wouldn't be alone. And I won't change my mind."

Santana stared back at her with a look full of uncertainty.

* * *

They were joined at the hip for days, but Santana's eyes didn't lose anxiety or doubt. Quinn was the one who shamelessly hugged her, grabbed her hand, entwined their fingers, and snuggled up against her. As much as the brunette was trying to warm up to her, she didn't stop being conscious about the whole thing.

Sitting under an umbrella in a cafeteria during one sunny afternoon, Quinn reached for her hands across the table and brushed fondly the tanned palms with her fingers.

"A little smiling won't kill you, you know."

"Let's not check it, shall we."

"I don't understand why you are being so hostile. You've known me for years, I'm not that bad looking, and I certainly don't stink. What's the problem?" Santana took a deep breath and averted her eyes.

"It's not you."

"Oh right, _it's not you it's me _crap, right? I've never seen you having such problems with Brittany. As far as I remember, you two were touchy-feely all the time." She retorted angrily, letting go of her hands. The brunette kept her still.

"It was different with her. We weren't… officially dating, for most of the time we were just being best friends, nothing more. No romantic feelings. Not until certain moment anyway."

"We aren't official. And there are no feelings." Quinn spoke under her breath.

"Y-yeah…"

They sat for several seconds in silence, looking blankly at each other. The blonde shook off the weird mood first.

"You're making a problem when you think about it. So don't. Stop analyzing everything."

"Says the most rational person ever. Well, maybe not ever."

They exchanged playful smiles and Santana squeezed briefly her hands. The young waitress approached the table with their coffee and put in front of them a cup of ice cream, which caused them to frown.

"Excuse me, we haven't ordered that."

"Oh, don't worry, it's on the house." She replied cheerfully and they gave her a confused look. "My brother is gay and he went through so much in his life. You're very brave to be open about your relationship, I admire that. Enjoy your dessert, girls. You're such a cute couple." The woman smiled at them one last time and left.

Santana's eyes were about to pop out of her head while Quinn was on the verge of laughter.

"See? We are a cute couple." The brunette closed her mouth and glowered.

"Don't be so smug, it's not even for real."

"The point is that not everyone has the attitude you're concerned about. There are good people out there, even in a small, provincial town like ours, and you're wrong to assume otherwise."

Santana focused her attention on coffee for quite some time before she looked up at Quinn who was observing people without a wrinkle of worry on her face. It was an unusual sight.

"How can you be so cool about it all?"

"I survived my dose of humiliation, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I learnt that everything is temporary, so why worry, especially ahead of time?"

"You're really not upset about being taken for a lesbian, not even a little?"

"I don't care what people assume and I don't think that being not straight is a shameful thing." She suddenly grinned. "Not to mention we were given free ice cream which shouldn't go to waste."

They dug into the dessert, chatting on different topics connected with food. Quinn couldn't stop smiling and Santana found it contagious. Different things were happening around them, yet their attention remained aimed at each other.

"I can't remember the last time I ate something so good." The blonde sighed appreciatively, dropping her spoon into the empty cup.

"So I've noticed." Santana smirked, looking at her lips. "You missed a spot. Here." She carefully slid her thumb over the corner of her mouth to wipe off the remains of cream.

"Thanks."

Quinn was slightly distracted, watching how Santana looked up slowly from her lips to her eyes with unreadable expression. They sat like that for a while when someone nearby spoke their names. The brunette pulled away in a flash and Quinn's face fell.

"Hey guys! Nice to see ya." Mercedes and Sam showed up at their table, both in high spirits.

"Hi, what a surprise. Please sit down with us." They took additional chairs and ordered themselves some iced drinks. "So, what you're doing here? We thought that everyone is out of town."

"We have a date." There were bright smiles on their faces. "We are kind of … together now."

"Wow, congrats then! That's unexpected." They exchanged astonished glances.

"Yeah. It just happened while we were away. What about you girls, decided to hang out?" Quinn glimpsed briefly at Santana, but didn't answer. The Latina nervously laughed.

"Ah you know, we were both bored so why the hell not."

"Glad to see you on better terms."

"Best friends forever, right Q?" She elbowed her, taking no notice of the fact that Quinn clenched her teeth. "So, how are yours holidays?"

They talked briefly about friends and school, but the girls left soon, considering how much time had already passed. Their way back was quiet as Santana was fidgeting with her sunglasses and Quinn was psychically absent. The blonde's house was closer and when they reached the narrow lane leading to the entrance, Santana swiftly turned towards her.

"Look, I know what you're gonna say. I blew up, I know. And I'm sorry." She blurted out with shame. Quinn sighed quietly.

"Santana… I don't think this is working out. I'm obviously not the right person to help you."

"What? No."

"Perhaps you should speak with Kurt and Blaine or seek some professional advice. I'm sure there are many groups of support which offer a proper guidance."

"No. I don't need any counseling or other crap like that."

"Yes, you do. I want to be there for you, but you're the one who must take a first step. And you refuse to do it. In that case… I can't help you." She admitted, her eyes full of sadness, and moved back. Santana grabbed her hand.

"You… I can't do this on my own. I can't do this without you."

"Of course you can. Maybe you need more time."

"It's not the time I need." They were standing motionlessly on the street. Despite the late hour, it was still bright. "Please."

"Come here." Quinn murmured and embraced her warmly.

"I don't want to make you feel awkward, but please… don't go." She whispered into her short strands of hair.

"You don't. It's not about me, I told you that it doesn't bother me. I just want you to overcome your anxiety, any way that fits you."

"This fits me." They drew back and Quinn suddenly beamed.

"That was probably the first time I've heard you asking politely for something." She teased and Santana rolled her eyes.

"Well, don't get used to it. I better get going, we're having some family for the evening and my dad has been complaining that I'm never home these days."

"You can let them know to blame me for it."

"I know, right? Who knew that having a girlfriend would be that time-consuming." She smiled and kissed her on the cheek. "See you tomorrow, Fabray."

Quinn entered her house in a much better mood.

* * *

Somewhere along the way, 'they' became a habit. Hand holding, brief kisses, cuddling, and discreet caressing came easily as breathing, without hesitation. Santana stopped thinking about it and Quinn no longer had to initiate any interaction between them. They mixed active days with lazy ones, spent in the bed watching comedies. Sometimes they couldn't keep quiet at all, sometimes they barely talked. People were returning from their holidays, yet they didn't socialize much apart from brief phone calls and text messages. That would mean leaving their little bubble and facing the world, which they weren't entirely ready for.

One of the last summer days they decided to spend in their favorite park. Santana left Quinn on the bench to get iced tea and out of the blue a young man sat beside her.

"Hello, gorgeous. What a girl like you doing here all alone? Don't worry honey, I will keep you company." He flashed a confident grin at her and she scowled in return.

"Thanks, but no thanks."

"Come on, you don't know what you're missing." She took in his gelled hair, leather jacket, and mischievous look in his eyes.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure I do. Now if you were kind enough to go away…"

"Feisty. Just what I like."

Quinn was ready to lash out at the man when Santana returned. She quickly glanced between them and stiffened within second.

"Leave my girlfriend alone." The blonde subtly smirked at her growl while he widened his eyes.

"Woah, girlfriend? Sweet. Can I watch?"

"Get lost creeper or I will make sure you won't be able to reproduce. Which would be quite a blessing to the world."

"No need to get violent, ladies. We can reach a compromise. Threesome?" Santana gave him the dirtiest look she could pull off before spilling the drink on his head. "The heck?!"

"If you don't move your stupid ass right now, you will face far worse things than that."

"Crazy bitch." He muttered under his breath and stood up, wiping the liquid off his face.

"That's right, back off before I do something drastic." The brunette warned loudly, watching him leave. Quinn chuckled.

"Nice job, he was asking for it. Although you wasted a perfectly good drink."

"It was worth it. I missed slushies so when I saw the opportunity, I took it." She sat down beside her, cuddling up to her arm, and the blonde rested her head on her shoulder.

"You haven't been that open about our relationship before. I'm proud of you."

"What I'm going to say next will make you even more pleased. I hope so."

"You've got my complete, undivided attention."

"I'm gonna tell my parents." She stated, toying tenderly with Quinn's fingers.

"That's great. Do you want me to come over?"

"Thanks, but I don't want to drag you further into this. I need to do that one thing alone."

"It's okay, feel free to call me if you change your mind." She paused, observing the leaves moving with the wind. "Do you plan telling them about us?"

"Probably. They already sense that something is going on."

"What will you say?"

"… The truth."

They fell silent and only their eyes betrayed confusion of their thoughts.

* * *

September came quicker than they expected and in the morning they prepared to return to school. Santana one more time fixed her cheerio uniform, which she received back along with captain rank, and sighed at her reflection in the wardrobe mirror. She took her bag and drove to Quinn's place. The blonde was waiting for her with cups of coffee and smiled encouragingly to go. They pulled into the crowded parking lot, spotting a few familiar faces. Santana bit her lip and Quinn reassuringly touched her shoulder.

"It's an ordinary day, just like the ones we had during those last weeks. Think that nothing has changed, no matter whether we hang around the town or here."

"I still think this is crazy to be conspicuous at school. Nobody will believe us anyway."

"And why's that?"

"I'd never date you, obviously." Santana gave her an explicit look and the blonde made a resentful face.

"Why not?"

"We're like apples and oranges. Besides, you're annoying and bossy."

"That's not what you said at Rachel's party." Quinn responded calmly, watching her freeze.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Let me refresh your memory. You should be happy to date me cause – a. I'm blonde, b. I'm smart, c. I'm awesome." She counted with a smirk. Santana angrily winced.

"I wasn't thinking straight, alright?"

"Do you ever?" Her grin widened in a wicked way.

"Har-har Fabray, what a wonderful gay pun."

"What can I say, you're rubbing off on me."

"Careful. It almost sounds as if you enjoyed my company."

"I'm your girlfriend, that means something." Santana involuntarily smiled, shaking her head.

"Come on, we will be late."

They walked hand in hand to the main stairs exchanging greetings when suddenly someone embraced them in a tight hug.

"There you are! I missed you guys!" Brittany yelled with joy, almost suffocating them.

"Hey, we missed you too. But you can let go now, Britt."

"Oh, sorry." She glanced between them. "It's good to be back. I'm so happy we're here all together."

"This is our last year. I can't believe how fast time goes."

"It will be epic." The tall girl beamed before looking down at their entwined fingers. They immediately caught her confused look. "Are your hands cold?"

"I'm helping Santana with coming out. We're… fake-dating." Quinn uncovered, having noticed that the brunette was tongue-tied.

"It's like… pretending, right?"

"Yeah, something like that. If you can, please keep it to yourself for now."

"Okay then!" She enlivened in a second and took Santana's free hand. "Let's go, I can't wait to meet the rest of people. We have so much to talk about. Did you hear that they found a portal to the elven world?"

They entered the school together – Brittany cheerful, Quinn bitter, and between two of them Santana, embarrassed.

The first lessons they spent separately to later meet up for uneventful lunch. To their surprise it wasn't awkward at all because nobody noticed any change. They swapped stories about holidays and girls left earlier to get their things from lockers.

"Oh God, this day takes too long." Santana whined, stuffing notebooks into her bag.

"Stop complaining, only two hours left."

"Don't remind me, I have damn math now with a teacher who hates me."

"You're exaggerating."

"I'm serious, whenever she looks at me, I swear she vividly images various ways to make my life miserable. I can see it in her eyes."

"I'm sure you will survive somehow. Now, escort me to the classroom."

"See? You're bossy. Why won't _you_ see _me_ off?" She argued when they walked down the hall.

"Because my class is closer." Quinn turned towards her. "We finish quite early today, do you want to go to the meadow after school?"

"Fine, but you owe me this escort thing."

"You're an ass. See you later." She kissed her cheek and went inside.

Santana managed to ignore raised murmurs and intrusive stares for the rest of the classes.

They met afterwards nearby schoolyard to take the familiar path leading to the wooded area. Before they crossed the pitch, Brittany caught up with them.

"Hey, where ya going?" Quinn turned her head to fix her eyes on some unspecified point, forcing Santana to answer.

"We have some free time before dinner so we decided to hang out. Enjoy the weather while it lasts."

"Can I come with you?"

"Uhm, don't you have biology soon?"

"Right, I knew I forgot about something. My timetable mixes me up."

"Don't worry about it, you will get it in time." Santana patted her shoulder and the blonde smiled.

"I hope so. Maybe some other time, then?"

"Maybe. Have a nice day."

They watched her skipping back to the building before resuming walking. The brunette took Quinn's hand and they silently strolled to the secluded spot. It seemed that someone recently had a bonfire party because new stumps were placed. They sat down on the biggest one and stretched towards the sun.

"I finally came out to my parents last night." Santana murmured, and Quinn opened her eyes to look at her with awe.

"I told you, you can do that. How it went?"

"Better than expected. They said they were okay with whoever I dated, as long as it's a good person."

"I'm happy for you." She placed her arm around her neck, bringing them closer. "It must be a relief. Did you speak about us?"

"Mom asked whether I'm seeing someone. I didn't want to expose you so I said I'm not interested in dating for now. That I need time to myself."

"You aren't?" Santana looked at her questioning expression and smiled.

"No. I'm good this way."

"What are your thoughts on school?" She sighed at her question.

"People definitely noticed. They're already gossiping, but nothing more than that. So far I don't care… Thank God it's Friday, maybe it will somehow die down during the weekend, although I doubt that."

"You handled it well." Quinn commented, examining her face.

"I've been preparing for it for weeks, remember?" She reminded her almost bitterly, but her eyes were tender. "You're the one who deals with it far better than I do. I can't help but wonder…why are you going through all of this? You could have walked away. You can always walk away."

"Because I know how it feels to be alone in troublesome situation." She replied, turning her head in the other direction. Santana stroked her thigh to get her attention.

"I appreciate that, but… I know when you are not telling the whole truth, Q." The blonde hanged her head, looking blankly at her shoes.

"I guess that I'm not that selfless how I want to be." She broke off. "Don't get me wrong, I wanted to help you. Yet I wanted to make myself feel better as well."

"Tell me what's going on." She clasped their hands together and the blonde met her troubled gaze.

"I'm good at pretending. To be honest, I didn't get over everything, as much as I wished I did. I still think about Beth, all mistakes that I've made, all my hopes… I lost everything. All my reputation destroyed, family abandoning me, guys turning their back on me. Whatever I do, I'm never the one." Quinn whispered, staring into her brown eyes. "I wished to leave it all behind, to move on. And I wished to be someone's choice for once."

"I know that we only fool around and it's just an act. But it feels good. Surprisingly good. And you… us… makes me happy. Makes me forget. I'm really sorry, I didn't want to use you that way." Santana hugged her in response, rubbing softly her back to calm her shaky breath.

"It's okay. You don't have to apologize to me, ever."

They sat like that for several long minutes, listening to the surroundings. The brunette pulled away to look at her with a shy smile.

"You know what I do to please my bottomless ego? I repeat to myself how awesome I am and how pathetic all those peasants are in comparison with me." The corners of Quinn's mouth lifted. "You reminded me to return to that tactic, and now I'm telling you to do the same. You're better than those idiots and you're too good for any losers who broke your heart. Screw them all, you don't need this."

"We're going to rock this year and everyone else can go to hell. You hear me?" Santana shook her a bit and the blonde nodded.

"So… no regrets, regarding our scheme?"

"None. I'm glad we're doing this. Together."

Soft clouds lazily moved on the sky and the birds chirped among the branches. Autumn was nowhere to be seen which made them sigh with delight.

"How does… kissing girls feel like?" Quinn faintly asked and Santana knitted her brows.

"Depends."

"On?"

"How straight you are. It's different, good different, but I suppose that hetero folks don't enjoy kissing the same gender the way non-hetero do." She narrowed curiously her eyes. "You've never…?"

"No."

"Where were you during spin a bottle games?" There was no reply. Santana slowly turned towards her and Quinn apprehensively lifted her gaze. "I can show you, if you want." She offered in a nonchalant tone and the blonde bit her lip before barely nodding as if she was surprised by her own behavior.

The brunette glanced between Quinn's uncertain eyes and mouth, and cupped gently her chin, bringing their faces together. She moved smoothly her lips against hers without hurry or aggression until they parted to catch their breath. They searched each other's eyes with disoriented expression.

"You… made me broke my rule." Santana murmured after a while.

"Don't tell me you're complaining."

"I won't." She all of a sudden straightened up and nervously chuckled. "With your limited experience, I must have been awesome. Finn and Puck are terrible kissers."

"You weren't that good." There was a smirk on Quinn's face.

"Sure, sure."

* * *

As Santana predicted, she and Quinn became the main topic of school conversations. During the weekend their social pages got overrun with dozens nosy questions and they gave up on opening any communicators or checking their phones. When they showed up on Monday, Jacob ambushed them right at the entrance. They pushed him aside and walked through the corridor with heads held high.

The most upsetting thing was the random encounters with boys who were harassing them over and over with sexist comments and rude suggestions. In most cases Quinn was the one who got rid of them using vicious words, since Santana had moments of uneasiness. It was hard to avoid all of their friends, but they dismissed everyone with short remarks to quickly took off in another direction. During the break they hid around the corner in order to slow down a little.

"God, what's wrong with these people? You admit to dating a girl and everyone loses their minds." The brunette muttered, glaring at anyone who dared to look at them.

"Because it's us we're talking about. I would've reacted the same way. I mean, if you stop to think about it… it's quite unimaginable. Us."

"Yeah, but they're overreacting. Thank the Lord we have some time until glee."

"I think that our friends are the least of our problems. Can you believe that some assholes bothered me with stupid offers to make me straight?"

"I know what you mean." Santana averted her eyes which Quinn instantly noticed.

"Hey, remember our conversation? Those morons don't matter." She pecked softly her forehead. "Just keep away from them and don't engage in any uncomfortable discussions. See you after your practice." With one last handclasp, they went separate ways to survive the remaining lessons.

Santana's cheerio training was at first awkward, but she swiftly set everyone in order. The leader position gave her a boost of confidence she needed and obnoxious behavior of people around became more manageable. Some of the girls were noticeably displeased with sharing the locker room with her, but several others spoke to her freely without any mean commentary. When she entered the main hall to find Quinn, Brittany joined her and they talked briefly about plans for the week.

"So now that everyone knows you like sweet lady kisses, we can finally be together." She blurted out without warning and Santana did a double take.

"Wait, what?"

"Me and Artie are long over and now as you're now brave enough to be public, you can be public with me."

"I'm kind of taken, you know that." She stated slowly and clearly, looking into her blue orbs.

"But Quinn isn't your girlfriend-girlfriend, anyway."

"No, you can't do that Britt!" Santana hurriedly untangled her arm from hers. "When I wanted to be with you, you turned me down."

"You know I wanted to be with you too, but I couldn't do that to Artie."

"Yeah, but you could do that to me and demand that I come out, instead of supporting me. You can't pretend that everything is alright and declare that now you're ready to be my girlfriend." She tried to keep her voice down, but she was unmistakably shaken up.

"I wanted to support you Santana, but you pushed me away when I wanted to help you. Several times."

"How did you want to do that? Having a boyfriend on the side, shoving a disgracing shirt into my hands? Quinn at least is together with me in this, you weren't."

"What you have with Quinn is not real."

"What makes you so sure?" The brunette exploded, unable to suppress her intensified anger. A few people turned their heads to look at them. Seeing Brittany's upset and puzzled face, she composed herself. "Shit, I'm sorry. Look, I can't talk about this right now. The thing is, you hurt me, you really did. And I'm not sure anymore how I feel about us or where we stand… I gotta go, Quinn is waiting for me. I really wish it turned out differently. I wish I could do what you want me to do."

She looked around with downcast expression and walked away. Her feet carried her quickly through the building in search of the other girl to finally spot her storming through the exit. She called her name, but Quinn didn't turn around, heading straight for the parking lot. Santana ran up to her before she reached her car.

"Where are you going?"

"Home."

"What about our plans?"

"I'm sure you can find someone to entertain you. Brittany seemed rather interested."

"What the hell are you talking about? Could you stop walking for a damn moment and look at me?!" She yelled and Quinn faced her with a serious look. "Thank you. Now explain what the deal is."

"There is no deal. Since you're out and doing well on your own, my job here is done. We can stop pretending and you can be at long last with Brittany, the way it was meant to be." Her voice was dripping with bitterness as she stared into her eyes. Santana looked like someone slapped her across her face.

"Pretending? Is that all what you think we did? Was everything just a huge act to you?"

"Well, it was obviously to you since you've already forgotten about it and moved on without telling me." The blonde countered and Santana narrowed her eyes in complete confusion.

"I'm asking again, what on earth are you talking about?!"

"Stop playing dumb! I saw you and her walking like an old married couple down the corridor. Congratulations, you don't have to hide your relationship anymore."

"See? Again! _Annoying. _If you had heard what we were talking about or even looked more closely, you would've known that I couldn't care less about dating her."

"Somehow I find it hard to believe. You want to know why? Because Santana always choses Brittany. She always did and always will. Some things never change." Quinn stared at her impassively.

"Guess what, miss know-it-all. You're wrong! _Everything_ has changed. I don't recognize myself anymore! This…" She gestured between them. "This makes me wanna do and say things that shouldn't have even crossed my mind! I've been having thoughts that I should've never thought, I had to restrain myself from speaking them out loud. That's what you're doing to me." Her voice fell to a whisper as she looked at the blonde's astounded features just inches from her face.

"You said that you're good at pretending. Well, I'm done pretending." Santana breathed, decreasing the remaining distance between them to crash her lips against hers in a completely different kiss than the first one.

She rested her hands on Quinn's hips to keep her as close as possible and her every move was filled with such intensity that the blonde dropped the notes she was holding. They were standing in the middle of parking lot, completely oblivious of everything except themselves. People stared at them with open mouths, watching how Santana gradually drew back to lean her forehead against hers. Quinn dazedly opened her eyes, meeting the anxious brown orbs.

"You asked if everything was an act… I think that it hasn't been for quite some time now." She murmured breathlessly, raising her hands to caress her face.

Santana smiled with relief and Quinn reciprocated her affectionate gesture. She entwined her fingers on the back of her neck and brought their lips together once more. Applause and cheering yells reached their ears and the blonde pulled back with a scowl.

"I swear, every guy in this school is a pervert." Santana touched her chin to make her look back at her.

"Who cares, they can watch as much as they want. Let them get used to it, cause I plan to do this very, _very _often."

"That's a serious violation of your condition." Both of them wore playful smirks on their faces.

"You know how I feel about rules, Q… they are made to be broken."


End file.
